7 HABITS for HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE and FAMILIES
By Covey 1. Be proactive –Highly effective families act based on principles and values. Ineffective families react based on emotion or circumstance. Effective families accept personal responsibility for their own actions and resulting consequences. Ineffective families blame and accuse other family members, other people or circumstances for their problems.
2. Begin with the end in mind – Effective families have a clear, agreed-upon sense of shared vision and purpose. They work together to accomplish their shared vision. They are contribution focused. Ineffective families proceed with little or nothing in mind.
3. Put first things first – Effective families invest quality time in the family – even amid all the other pressing demands of life. Ineffective family members are those who are often rushed and hurried, working long hours and feeling guilty about not having more family times.
4. Think win-win – Effective families genuinely seek mutual benefit in all family interactions and find joy in the success of other family members (walang inggitan). Ineffective families secretly resent the success of other family members. They would rather be "right" than "happy."
5. Seek first to understand, then to be understood – Effective families try to seek first to understand the other family member's point of view instead of focusing on making their point and convincing others to agree.
6. Synergize – Effective families celebrate difference and believe that "our way" is better than "your way" or "my way." Ineffective families think, "we both give up something so that we can agree."
7. Sharpen the saw – As an individual and as a family, effective people do things together – exercise, take vacations, worship. As marriage partners, they regularly do things to keep the flame alive. Ineffective families, on the other hand, "rarely take time for reward." They often watch endless hours of mindless TV!
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Covey shared these "bonding" tips to keep your family strong:
1. Have weekly dates with your partner.
2. Have "dates" with each of your children, wherein they decide what to do.
3. Make special phone calls regularly to children who live away from home.
4. Even take a child with you on a business trip if appropriate! Covey said that at one's deathbed, one never wishes one spent more time at the office; it's always, "I should have spent more time with my family." He also said the most important sentences in the world are short.
These are: Please. Thank you. I love you. How may I help you? I'd love to serve.
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A Mormon, his dream is that through his talks, he will be able to empower people and strengthen values so that in the end, the world will have a bigger middle class – instead of having more poor people in our midst. Covey, a father of nine and a grandfather of 42 (one more is due on Christmas Day), said people and organizations have four basic needs; To live, to love, to learn and to leave a legacy. Parents should always "keep affirming their children" and tell them always, "I love you, I believe in you." If you are disappointed that your child is not fulfilling his potential, stop! "Believe in your child, not in his potential," advises Covey, "Do not falter in your belief in him." He advised everyone to keep in mind that, "Life is short." And while blessed with the gift of life, always remember that, "Family is what life is about."